My Lve Affair Wth A Razr

Ok, so you've read the headline. What are you thoughts now? Oh no, Lukas is quoting, or worse yet, writing, crappy emo songs! Well, apart from admitting that I do sometimes do the latter, I have not just left the bathroom with bleeding wrists, but have rather gotten a new phone. Yes, you've read correctly. Not to worry, I'm still your old fashioned Lukas, I haven't joined any fashion societies or been accepted into any crowds commonly referred to as 'hip'. I've simply acquired, for Christmas, a Razr cell phone. If you're a close friend of mine, you've already heard me rant about the 'Razr' but if you're an a Forest Ranger looking for inquisitive Blogs to comment on, you definitely haven't. The deal is this: Up until 12/25/05, I hated the Razr's guts. My top complaint, is, of course, that Motorola is, apparently, too cool for Vowels. It seems that Vowels are only allowed into the Motorola family on certain occasions. You'd think that with three Os in their name, they could include them in the name of the phone. It could have just has easily been the Rzor, or even play fair and just call it the Rzr. You know, make all the Vowels feel equal. Motorola, seemed to realize it's error, and gave the O a place in it's new phone: The Rokkr. But what about that E? I'm sure he's feeling a bit left out too. I think, on behalf of vowels everywhere? That an organized strike is an order against Motorola, here on referred to as Mtrl. You see how feeble they are without their vowels? This, my friends, is a perfect example of passive resistance. But, my problems with the Rzr didn't end there. It's thin. It's ridiculously thin. I'm talking anorexic thin. I'm sure the people at Mtrl weren't thinking that though, because the 'Anorxc' doesn't exactly flow to well. No, they were obviously thinking about a 'razor' while designing the phone, which is almost as ridiculous. Heck, I could shave with this thing. Right when this phone came out, I had a dream about it. The way it was set up, my family was captured and held hostage by the man trying to take over the world. He was, you know, the usual evil super-powered villain. And as I was, of course, the last line of resistance, I was being lectured and told his final evil plan. I was tied up in front of him, completely helpless as he began the final motions of world domination. But, meanwhile off in the other end of the room, my friend John is being forcibly carried off by evil henchmen. In his final moments in the room, John reached into his pocket, pulled out the Rzr, and through it to me. I caught it with my hand behind my back, slashed the bonds, and whirled around, throwing the Rzr right into the Evil Super-Villain's neck. Yes, I saved the world with a Rzr. These things are not natural. What happened to the days of big, bulky, useless cell-phones? Don't answer that. Because, yes, as the title of this entry suggests, despite everything I've mentioned above, this phone has wood my heart.